5 Weeks Old

Audra will be 5 weeks old tomorrow... which means 5 weeks ago right now I was in labor with her.  Wow... the time has flown by!  I found myself staring at Audra this week, thinking how in the world did you fit inside me just 5 weeks ago?  I feel as though she has grown and changed so much already... but I have a feeling I'm going to be saying that for the next 20 years!

Sleeping on the couch with Daddy.

Audra's Visitors

We've had many visitors over the past couple weeks who've wanted to meet the newest member of our family!  Unfortunately I didn't always remember to take pictures of Audra's company, but here's some shots that I did get.

Audra with her cousin, Cora Loucks.

Aunt Alenna and Cora.

My high school friend, Katie Heberle.

Audra with her cousin, Julian Hatch, in his first attempt to hold his cousin.

Later (after being fed) Julian and Audra had a nicer picture together.

Great-Aunt Cathy Decina.

My friend from Williamsburg, Karen Capossela.

Thank you to everyone who has visited!  We all feel very loved!

New Job

There were two births on January 28th, 2012.  When Audra was born, something else was born in me; I became a MOTHER.  Instantaneously.  Mama, Mommy, Mom.  These are now my titles.  And the enormity of this job is sometimes staggering.  But I feel as though I waited a long time to fill this position, and I am thankful every day that God has given me this role!

The Journey That Started With A Click

I started writing this blog in September 2011, but put it on the back burner since we were only mid-way through our pregnancy and I didn't want to ignite a confrontation (with people who would've been opposed to our decisions).  Anyway, now that Audra has been born, conflicting ideas on where to birth a baby and how to have a baby become moot points.  But, for those interested, here's how we arrived at certain decisions.


I had always dreamed of some day becoming a mother, though I never put much thought into the process of birthing a child.  Except for some older family members (pre-WWII), everyone I could think of was born in a hospital and then gave birth to their own children in hospitals.  There was no reason for me to question someday having a child in a hospital with a doctor, because that's just what people did.

But then...

In February 2010, on an online quest to find the words to a poem my mother used to recite, I stumbled across a blog called "Adventures in Babywearing."  The author quoted the poem I was searching for in one of her blog posts, so when I clicked on the Google result, I found her blog.  I read the post in its entirety and found myself really enjoying the lyrical way this lady wrote about leaving her parents house and creating a home for her husband and young children.  It was like reading a great short story, so I curiously read more of her posts, most which were about her joys and challenges in raising a family.  I had no children at the time, yet she had 4.  I've never lived west of Upstate NY, but she's from the mid-west.  She's a talented writer who gets paid to keep a blog and write articles for online sites and my blog posts tend to read more like 8th grade book reports.  Nothing in common at first glance, yet the more I read the more I realized we shared similar ideas on faith, raising children and working to be the best people we can be.  So, even though I doubted that I would ever meet this lady, I continued to read about her life (in a completely non-stalkingish way, I promise!).

Then I came across her post about the home birth she had with her 4th child.  What?!  Normal, responsible, relatable people birth babies in their homes?  I'd never heard of such a thing in the last 50 years, but I mentally filed away this story in case I would ever want to learn more.

Fast forward to June 2011... we're pregnant and I've started prenatal care with my regular OB/GYN.  But, based on this blog I once read and some limited research, I started to talk with David about my desire to have our baby outside of a hospital with a midwife in attendance.  (He didn't say much at the time, but he later admitted that the idea of having a baby out of a hospital sounded as risky as having a baby in a barn, hundreds of miles from civilization.)  Thankfully he kept an open mind and didn't try to sway me from researching our options.  We watched two documentaries together on Netflix, "The Business of Being Born" and "Pregnant in America" and our eyes were opened to the benefits of having a baby outside of a hospital.  So, at 20 weeks we switched care to a midwife group in Wilmington, DE, and we haven't regretted this decision at all!

And here we are today, with our own story of the completely natural, drug-free birth of our daughter and a strong desire to tell others what labor and delivery can be like away from a hospital.  It is not my desire to make anyone feel badly if they didn't have a natural birth.  I realize that this is a very personal decision, and a lot of people don't have birth centers and/or caring midwives available to them or, for various reasons, are unable to have natural births.  However, I tell this story in the hopes that it will give women the courage to search out their choices and make the best decisions based on what is best for them and their baby, instead of assuming that having a baby with an OB/GYN is the best (or only) option.

Who would have ever known that reading a blog would lead to a click that changed my view of childbirth and thus, changed my life!

Here I am, exhausted, but elated, with Nurse Tyler, Midwife Dorinda, and Nurse Peggy, a couple hours after Audra's birth.

Audra Leigh's Birth Story

It was 4am on Thursday, January 26th (the day after my due date) when I woke to my first contraction.  I had been feeling aches and cramps for the past couple nights, so I wasn’t too surprised or worried when contractions started.  The contraction eased pretty quickly, and the next one didn’t hit for over 20 minutes.  So I slept as long as I could that morning, in between the contractions, knowing that I would need to conserve my energy for the journey ahead.

David asked me on Thursday morning if he should stay home from work.  He was worried to leave me home alone when I was having contractions.  I assured him that I would call if they got closer together or more intense and insisted that he go to work.  The rest of Thursday passed slowly, as I tried to keep myself distracted with last minute errands that needed to be done before the baby arrived.

Thursday night the contractions were still anywhere from 20-45 minutes apart, and I didn’t get much sleep that night, because contractions kept waking me. 

On Friday David didn’t have to go to work.  Due to the warm winter we’ve been having, there wasn’t much service work that day.  I was so thankful that he was able to stay with me!  Even though contractions were infrequent, I was starting to feel the pain in my back, so it was wonderful to have David massage my back during contractions.

By Friday afternoon the contractions were getting much more intense, even though they were about 10 minutes apart.  I was no longer feeling the contractions as cramps, but rather all as back pain.  Even though David and I had taken a Bradley Method class which taught that the laboring woman should relax through the contractions, since the baby had turned into a posterior position it was practically impossible to relax. 

At 7:30pm, with contractions about every 5 minutes, we called David’s parents who were going to be taking care of our dog while we were at The Birth Center.  We then called The Birth Center to give notice about my contractions.

By 10pm we’d reached the “4-1-1”… contractions 4 minutes apart, lasting about a minute for a full hour.  David’s parents had just arrived, so we figured we were ready to go.  However, when I talked to Katie at The Birth Center she said she still could hear a smile in my voice between contractions and she wasn’t sure if I was ready to come in yet.  (I have been accused of being “too nice,” and my husband later told me that this was another instance of me covering my true emotions in an effort to be polite.)  Also, she told us that another baby had been born earlier in the evening, and that the family was in the water birth room.  This is the room that we had picked for our labor, so we labored at home for another 3 hours before calling The Birth Center again.  This time I was ready to go!

We got to The Birth Center around 1:30am on Saturday, January 28^th (and I was thankful to see that the other family was getting ready to leave the water birth room).  When Katie checked me I was astonished to hear that I was already 7cm!!  I was excited to be so far into labor, and I thought that surely I would be holding my baby by dawn!

But dilation is not necessarily a gauge for how labor will progress, and, after almost 5 hours of laboring in the tub, Katie asked to check me again.  I almost started to cry when she told me I was at 8cm.  All those hours of intense labor only gained me 1cm?  My water hadn’t broken, and Katie believed that was one reason why it was taking longer than anticipated.  She asked to break my water around 7am, and I gladly agreed!  This helped a lot, and suddenly I was almost completely dilated.

At 8am there was a shift in the on-call staff, with Midwife Dorinda and Nurses Tyler and Peggy joining us in the water birth room.  The baby was still posterior, so Dorinda suggested I try different positions to help encourage the baby to turn.  The next 1 ½ hours passed slowly for me.  I was completely focused on the task at hand and I didn’t notice the people moving around me at all.  David later told me that I even started to fall asleep and snore between the contractions!  By this point I’d been in active labor for over 12 hours, and hadn’t had much sleep for the past 50 hours.  I was so exhausted, and I doubted myself with almost every contraction.  But Dorinda, Tyler and Peggy, along with David, continued to encourage me and give me reassurance.  Without their support (or, in other words, if I had been trying to do this naturally in a hospital) I think I probably would’ve given up!

At last, at 9:30am, I was in stage 2 of labor – it was time to push!  However, the baby continued to be posterior, so with every push the pain in my back was strong.  I was grateful to have Tyler putting pressure on my back during each contraction.  Around 10:30am, since I was completely unmedicated, I felt the baby turn into the anterior position.  Of course I was still exhausted, but it was nice to have the pressure off my back.

At 11:13am, I pushed 4 final times, and suddenly I was holding my baby!  Both David and I were astonished that she started to cry when only her head was out.  And, as Dorinda put it, “she came out waving”, with her right hand tucked up next to her face.  She was so alert from the first second!  (Only at the time I didn’t know “it” was a she, so I suppose I should still be referring to her as “the baby”.)  I remember I turned to David, delighted that it was finally over, and announced “I did it!”  Up until the end I still doubted that I had the strength to do this without pain relief or medical assistance.  And then Dorinda turned to my husband and said, “David, tell Alvana what it is”, and David got to announce “IT’S A GIRL!”  It was so exciting to finally learn the gender of this baby!  After a few moments of holding our baby and crying some tears of joy, I asked David if we were set on the name.  He said he was happy with what we had picked out, and I agreed.  Then I was able to introduce our daughter, Audra Leigh, to Dorinda, Tyler and Peggy.  (We had picked her name to honor David's late-grandmother, Audrey Cundey, and my late-mother, Ermalee Crosby, though we altered the first name because we liked the softer sound of Audra and we altered the spelling of Lee, to the more traditional female spelling.)

Looking back, this is not the birth I had planned to have.  I had wanted to have a water birth, but that didn’t happen because of Audra’s posterior position.  Also, I had heard about back labor, but I really didn’t have any idea how severe the pain would be, and I wasn’t expecting to be in labor for that long, though I know that 15 hours is around average.  However, David and I both view this experience as an amazing and beautiful event.    We are so glad we chose to experience natural childbirth outside of a hospital, where a staff of loving women worked so hard to make this an enriching occasion.  Our hearts are grateful for The Birth Center!

Where Audra was born - the waterbirth room at The Birth Center in Wilmington, DE.

Snow!

The weather report last evening was calling for "snow showers" in our area.  And I'll admit that, being an Upstate NY girl, I rolled my eyes and assumed that we'd have a couple flakes of snow on the ground this morning.  "Big deal," I sarcastically thought.

But this morning the ground was covered, and the world looked beautiful!  Sophie was as excited about the snow as I was!  And, since I'm unable to play in the snow these days, I settled for watching her run around and play.

Preparations and Pampering

I've finished the final things that I wanted to do before Baby Cundey is born, so, technically, I'm ready now!  The bassinet is set up, the car seat is installed, all the newborn baby clothes have been washed and my bags are packed. 

Also, I took time this week for some last minute pampering by going to get a pedicure and a prenatal massage.  What a treat!  It's been over 2 years since I got a massage, and almost 3 years since I got a pedicure, and I figured I was due for some indulgences.  After all, it will probably be quite some time (possibly another 2-3 years... or more) before I take the time to pamper myself again!

Maternity Leave

Today is the first day of my maternity leave!  I decided to end work on a Wednesday so that I could attend a local Le Leche League meeting this morning.  Since I plan to breastfeed I wanted to find some local mothers who could be my support group if I have any issues, and I was very pleased with the LLL leader that I met today.

Yesterday, my last day of work, was a little bittersweet.  I have a great boss, and I've really enjoyed working with him (and the rest of our group) for the past 4 years.  I've told him that my plan is to be a stay-at-home-mom after my maternity leave is over, but he still tells me that until I turn in my resignation he isn't going to consider this a permanent leave.  I doubt I'll change my mind in the next 6-8 weeks, but I'm disappointed with the lady that is currently working as my replacement and it's sad to imagine 4 years of my hard work going down the drain.  I have to remind myself that the situation is out of my hands and that (pretty soon!) I will have much more important things to think about!

Week 38

It's the last couple weeks of my pregnancy, and I'm starting to feel enormous.  I'm not bothered by the extra weight (hardly any backaches!), but there are times (like when I'm in the yard trying to play catch with Sophie or when I bend down to tie my shoes) that this big belly makes things awkward.  I am thankful that I am one of those women who can honestly say that I've enjoyed being pregnant, but I am looking forward to feeling normal and much less clumsy! 

Remembering 2011

It's that time of year again... the time when everyone starts thinking of resolutions, plans, ambitions, future projects, actions and undertakings.  Even though I'm a fan of lists (a BIG fan, if I'm being completely honest), I find it a bit daunting to try to map out goals for an entire year.  So instead, sometimes I find it much easier to look backwards and remind myself of the lessons the previous year has taught me.  Here's some of what I learned in 2011:

1. Traveling is wonderful, but my favorite place to be is home.
2. Investing in warm clothes and layering can make being outside in 20-degree temps quite enjoyable.  (Why is it that an Upstate NY girl didn't learn the value of layering until she was almost 32?  Really, it's kind of pathetic.)
3. The best kinds of friends are the ones that accept you even when you're quiet and/or sad.
4. I should make a greater effort to purposely watch a sunrise.  No matter what mood I'm in, it's a sign that God is in the business of new beginnings.
5. God is also in the business of doing "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine"!
6. Beach days in the middle of the week are way more fun than going to the beach on a weekend.  I definitely need to plan more of them for next summer.
7. I never get tired of hearing "Aunt Alvana", and am so glad that I have 3 nephews and 1 niece that live close enough to see on a semi-regular basis.
8. My husband has the unique ability to turn almost anything into a fun adventure.  (Even flooding from a hurricane!)
9. I've been blessed with wonderful family members!  And that includes David's family, all of whom I proudly claim as "my family".  (I've learned this before 2011, but I still wanted to say that since there were so many moments this past year that reminded me how grateful I am for each of them.)
10. I need to give up on growing my hair.  I always wanted long hair, but I need to accept that a short hair style looks better on me.
11. Opening up my home to family/friends doesn't mean that I'm responsible for someone else to have a good time.  As long as I'm a welcoming hostess, I've done my job.  Having a good time is everyone's personal choice.
12. Learning is important and fun, and I hope that I never stop striving to increase in knowledge.
13. I'm still a shy person by nature, but trying to be outgoing goes a long ways towards actually being a more social creature.
14. All relationships have their ups and downs, but David is my best friend and my favorite person to be with.
15. Chocolate cannot bring happiness, but I'll probably keep trying anyway.